Fathers, Education, and Finances (oh my!)

 In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, it states that it is a father’s responsibility to provide, preside, and protect in his home. It also states that it is a mother’s responsibility to nurture their children and provide a safe place for them. It also states that mothers and fathers are obligated to help each other in these responsibilities as equal partners. Isn’t that such a beautiful thing? That mothers and fathers are equal partners in the home and that it is their sacred duty to help one another with them.

However, I think the world is starting to turn away from this idea of “equal partnership”. I know that I’ve been noticing a startling trend of women who believe they don’t need a husband in their home or that men are irrelevant in a woman’s life. I know I’ve even thought these things! “I can be independent!” “I don’t need anyone watching out for me!” Have you seen similar responses before?

There is actually a huge amount of evidence of the importance of having BOTH a father and a mother in the home. For example, homes with only a single, unmarried mother tend to have far more problems. Kids in these homes tend to have a harder time in school or get into drugs or alcohol at an earlier age. (As stated above, these homes TEND to have that. Not all do.) Having a father in the home balances responsibilities and allows each member to do what they do best: nurture and provide. When a mom, for example, is trying to do it all on her own, it would be so much harder! But with the shared responsibilities and help provided to fathers and mothers, things work out a little differently.

Now, this is not to say that women should not go out and get an education or a career. I’m in college right now and I find it so fulfilling to learn and to create a new life for myself!! But something I am slowly realizing is that education is not all about the cash. (Although it definitely helps!) The education that we are being provided with allows us to grow our knowledge base about tons of different subjects! And it allows us to be lifelong learners and to love learning in the process. Our education is there so we can better provide for our future families or to help those that we come into contact with. It is there to help us make a mark on the world and to help us be better human beings!

The other thing that I have learned about earning an education about families is that the most important things that we will ever do will have nothing to do with money, but what we do in our homes. When we are able to teach our children how to read or how to pray or tie their shoes, we are spending important, foundation building time with them so they can start gaining a knowledge base about things that we have learned. This helps our kids love learning as well and will help support them as they go through their own lives and their own college experiences! We are our children’s, grandchildren’s, our even future children’s backbone for a very long time. Having the responsibilities of both mother and father clearly shown in what we do and how we act and shown with equal amounts of love and praise helps a child model their own lives after it!

One last thing that I have learned comes in the form of a question: what are we trading for money? Don’t get me wrong, having money is an important aspect of our survival these days. But it is important to manage those finances well so they don’t take over our lives. I’ve struggled with money, and it really takes over everything. You wonder if you’ll have enough for gas or food that week. You wonder if you will be able to pay rent that month. But as I’ve worked through my own finances, I’ve realized that when I better manage my finances, I have less stress and I have more time to think about more the more important things that were neglected while I was worrying about them. In the case of the family, playing with children and working on their education could be neglected by financial problems or stress. Making sure your kids are learning and developing good moral and ethical skills could also be neglected. So, when you and your husband or wife are able to work TOGETHER on managing finances, the most important things will not be traded for money.

And so, with that, as you contemplate your family this week, think about how you are sharing responsibility with your spouse, where you are at with your education (whether formal or not), and how you are doing with managing your finances together.

I know how important these aspects are. I’ve seen them time and again in my own life through those around me who I know and love. I know what a difference it makes when you take the time to work together to figure out problems and help each other out.

So, I hope each of you enjoys a good time of contemplation! See you next week!!