Cultured Sandwiches

 

Did you know that all families have a culture?

There’s a reason why we sometimes shake our heads at the way a roommate or friend makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or how they wash the dishes, or even how they brush their teeth!! It all can sometimes seem so foreign to us, strange in a way that we often question. Each of these aspects comes from how the individual learned to do them at home with their family. Many of these families learned these things from their families and so on.

Going back to the peanut butter and jelly problem. In my family, I was taught to put the peanut butter on one slice of bread and the jelly on the other slice. Some people put them both on the same slice of bread. And other commit the horrid crime of using Smucker’s Goobers (a jar that has both of them swirled together…) All of these things are learned from our parents, and possibly even from their parents. This is just one example of how our family can influence us.

But our families can be influenced by so many other things!! One of the biggest influences in my life has been my religion. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I grew up with certain beliefs and practices in my home that have influenced many of my decisions leading up to this point in my life. There was a culture that developed in my home that supported a love of God and of our fellowmen as well as a firm belief in modern day prophets and miracles happening in our lives.

The aspects of this culture that we developed did not happen overnight. A lot of our culture was brought on by the culture and traditions of my ancestors. On my mom’s side, her ancestors were members of The Church and grew up with the same beliefs and values that were in my home growing up. On my dad’s side, his family grew up with a sense of service to everyone around them. They weren’t members of The Church until my dad joined, but they still recognized the value of service and were avid believers in serving others to the best of their abilities. These traditions are some that I would like to carry on to my future family as well!

This is not the case for everyone in the world. There are certain family cultures that can be toxic to the individuals, or cultures that are dangerous for the families in the area. There are cultures that have been influenced by the religions their country respects and follows. There are traditions that follow these individuals and their families that affect their everyday lives. Many people choose whether or not to follow many of these traditions in their own lives or to implement them in their family’s lives, and this can either be to the best or the worst.

It is important to take a look at the cultures and traditions in your lives and see what you want to keep the same or what you want to change. Simple things like the way you make your sandwiches is much easier to change than where you sit on the economic ladder. It is possible to change, but it can be more difficult. But it is important to think of how you want to raise your family and what you want them to value (kind of a lot on your shoulders, right?)

I think the biggest thing I want you to remember throughout all of this is that this is your life and your family. It is important to respect the cultures you have come with and the traditions your family has, but it is up to you and your spouse to decide what your family values. Another important thing to remember, and something that is a huge part of my family culture, is to always include God in all that you do. Ultimately, He is the one that knows best how you can work with your family.

So, as you contemplate your family this week, I would highly recommend you ask God what you can do for your family, what culture you want to cultivate in your home, and what traditions you want to involve.

Good luck contemplating!!