What's the Deal With Dating??

 We live in a society that thrives off of connections. We connect with each other through social media. We connect through being with people. We even connect with the guy that cracked a joke in our math class! We thrive on connections! But when did we become so casual about it? When did connecting with a person face to face turn into connecting through a screen? When did connecting with someone on a deeper level suddenly change to talking about that new video game? Don’t get me wrong, this light talk is important and I am an avid connoisseur of it, but our deepest connections run, well, deep!

Dating is a hugely effective way to gain connections with other people! It provides us opportunities to get to know other people who may or may not have similar interests as us, and who have decided to spend time with just you. In the words of Dallin H. Oaks, “A ‘date’ needs to pass the test of the 3 p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off.”

So, when did this change? As a single person, I have noticed a dramatic shift from “dating” to “hanging out”. What I used to look forward to was time spent on- on-one with another human being. Looking back in my high school years, I was given lots of opportunities to do so! And it was so much fun! Now, however, I am seeing more and more “hanging out” in place of an actual, planned out and paid for date.

What’s the difference? Generally speaking, hanging out consists of large groups of young men and young women doing an activity together. This generally has no commitments and the two of you can spend your time and energy being with literally anyone else in the group. This could also count for watching TV and using your energy watching that and then parting ways to continue this tradition the next week when the new episode comes out. Dating, as stated previously, consists of a commitment to the other person that you will spend your time and energy on them. This means you will use what resources are available to you to have an enjoyable afternoon, connecting with them and getting to know them on a deeper level. That is the entire purpose of dates! You are there to get to know one another!

I feel that a big part of this is commitment. Now, for some, dating has to be a huge commitment of time and money spent on the other person so they will like you and maybe marry you one day. For a first date, personally, this seems to be a bit much. You really don’t have to commit to marriage in your first 24 hours of meeting another person. But, you can commit to spending time with them for 2 hours. This gives you plenty of time to get to know the other person and take the time to go get ice cream. You don’t get that with hanging out. This commitment allows you to connect with another person so much better because it truly helps you gain their trust!! It is so much easier to get to know another person when you have their trust!

There is a huge responsibility for each of us to take the time to get to know another person and to date frequently. We have a responsibility to be married and to gain eternal life with that person! When that responsibility and that commitment is not there, we really don’t get much out of it. So, if you want to get more out of your time and energy, take 2 hours each and every week to take someone new on a date. Take that responsibility into your own hands and quit hanging out! Don’t be afraid of a commitment. Don’t worry about just finding the one. 

So, as you contemplate your future family this week, I would suggest you take lots of people out, and you’ll be surprised to see what happens!

Comment down below what date ideas you have had that you’ve had fun with!!

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